If anyone actually follows what I write here and is sat impatiently waiting for the restaurant review I promised in my last post well here's why there wasn't one, we didn't go. The more we looked into the place the weirder it got. And well, most important, it didn't have an alcohol licence and neither myself nor the boyfriend were up for eating sober so we sacked it off and went to Chiquitos instead. It wasn't the night I'd hoped for at all. I wanted fun times and tequila etc but we were both super dooper tired and after maybe two drinks we sacked it off and went home. I think I may have fallen asleep on the sofa with my head on his shoulder while we both looked at funny pictures on the internet together both to tired to even laugh properly.
As you might be able to tell I've been suffering from the grumps a little lately. I'm blaming it on a combination of my joints being particularly sore recently and having zero money. I've had to cancel on a bunch of friends and our planned activities because a, I can't afford that particular activity b, I physically wouldn't be able to carry said activity or both c, I can't afford it and it involves being physically active.
This all really hasn't been helped as everything I own keeps breaking. My computer is knacking up and our dryer is eating all my clothes and I feel shit enough about the clothes I own (I put on a lot of weight very quickly and I can't afford to replace everything with the next size or two up so a lot of stuff is quite snug fitting) but now they all have big holes in them. I'm trying really hard not to be so materialistic but you have no idea how heartbreaking it is having to walk out the the wheely bin in the back yard and just dump armfuls of clothes in there. Not just any clothes either, some of my most favourite and most expensive items. I already felt plenty unattractive as it is and now I can't even hide behind an outfit I always thought was flattering.
As for the joint pain issue, I'm finally getting tested. I took my mum to the doctors with me and they kind of just looked at her and went 'oh yeah, you're mum does have a ton of genetic joint problems, maybe we should take notice of you'. So my last week had been full of blood tests and x-rays and phone calls to say 'we didn't take enough blood, can you come back so we can have more?'. I don't think any of this will help me, there's no magical cure, I'm not even sure they'll find anything, they didn't last time I got x-rayed. But hopefully its a step in the right direction and one day I'll be able to participate in group activities again.